There are many different sleep training methods out there to choose from, each one varying in levels of parental involvement. But the one that is often considered the gentlest is referred to as "the gentle method." The gentle method is also sometimes referred to as the “Pick Up, Put Down" method.
This method requires more parental involvement than other sleep training method. As a result, the gentle method tends to take longer than other methods.
Here we'll explain how to perform the gentle method of sleep training and answer the most common questions about how to start sleep training with the gentle method.
If you’re looking to explore sleep training and don’t know where to start, take this free sleep assessment to get personalized guidance and suggestions on sleep training with the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers app. For some, simple recommendations from the app are enough to solve whatever sleep struggles your baby may be dealing with!
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What is the Gentlest Sleep Training Method?
When parents ask, "what is the gentlest sleep training method"’ the answer is it depends. Many parents believe the gentlest method of sleep training may be the Pick Up, Put Down sleep training method for reasons like it is gradual and limits crying. However, other parents and sleep experts may have differing opinions on what is considered the gentlest method of sleep training.
Many assume that a sleep training method with higher parental involvement (like Pick Up, Put Down) is more gentle than one with less or no parental involvement (such as the less gentle Cry it Out method). However, a gentle method of sleep training may take longer than a more hands off approach. Sleep training in a shorter period with more crying could therefore be considered gentler than a longer sleep training with less crying.
Others say that any gentle sleep training method that you can deliver consistently is the most gentle sleep training method.
Whatever you choose, the gentle sleep training method you choose should fit with your parenting style and is one that you can confidently deliver, every bedtime, every middle-of-the-night wake up, all the time.
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What is the gentle Pick Up, Put Down method?
The gentlest method of sleep training is generally thought of as the Pick Up, Put Down sleep training method. It is considered a gentle sleep training method as you don’t leave your baby to cry for a long period of time.
When you deliver the Pick Up, Put Down sleep coaching method, you pick up your baby whenever they fuss, reassure them for a set period of time, and then put them down to try again.
That said, this gentle method of sleep training requires the most parental intervention which means it may not be the most efficient method for all parents and babies. The gentle method can be exhausting for some parents to deliver consistently – for the babies who are constantly picked up and put back down, parents tend to get tired after 15+ pick ups!
How Do I Do the Gentle Sleep Coach Method or Pick Up, Put Down?
Here is a step-by-step guide to performing the gentle sleep coach method, also known as the Pick Up, Put Down sleep training method.
- Perform your bedtime routine and put your baby down when they're sleepy but awake.
- Leave the room.
- If your baby starts to cry, set the timer (you can do this via the Smart Sleep Coach app).
- Wait 3 minutes before intervening.
- If your baby is still crying when the timer goes off, pick them up and offer brief reassurances until they calm down but are still awake.
- When your baby calms, put them back down and leave the room.
- If your baby cries again, repeat the process until your baby falls asleep.
Be sure to make a note of how long it took them to settle. This will help you monitor their progress. (The Smart Sleep Coach app can do this automatically.)
On night two, you perform this same exact routine except you add 2 minutes to the timer. So, instead of waiting 3 minutes, you'll now wait 5. The third night, you’ll add more time to the timer, and so on.
The goal here is to fade out your assistance while increasing your baby’s “alone endurance” to the point that they will start to put themselves back to sleep.
Which Sleep Coaching Method is Best?
Every baby is different – that’s why the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™ app asks for your input to customize your baby’s sleep coaching method. What works for one baby may not work for the rest, and of course what one parent is comfortable with may not work for another.
When choosing a gentle sleep coaching method you must really consider a few things:
- How quickly do you want to get sleep on track? A gentle sleep training method is typically slower. The Cry-it-Out method is often faster. There are methods in the middle such as less gentle Ferber method and Chair method.
- How comfortable are you with giving your baby space and time to fall asleep? If you choose to gentle sleep train, while it limits crying there may be some level of protest.
- Your baby’s temperament. Is your baby’s protesting escalated when you enter the room, or escalating when you try to calm them down? If so, then you might want to consider less parental involvement, or a less gentle sleep training method.
- Are all of your baby’s caregivers on the same page? Consistency is the key to sleep training success so you need everyone rowing together if this is going to work, since any deviation can set you back to the beginning.
What if The Gentle Method Doesn’t Work?
If the gentle sleep training method doesn’t work, then you can try another method. Before changing methods you can consider:
- Have we been 100% consistent?
- Have we tried this method consistently for at least 7-14 days without improvement (14-days is ideal)
If you can answer yes to both of the above, then you can consider switching to another method – it's often recommend you try the slightly less gentle Ferber method or Chair method next.
If your baby’s crying is escalating when you enter the room instead of helping calm then a better recommendation may be the less gentle Cry it Out method – but again that’s not for everyone.
Just remember, you can still respond to your baby’s needs when sleep training and there are many the long-term benefits of sleep training.
How Long Does Gentle Sleep Training Take?
When delivered consistently, sleep training can improve sleep in as little as 7-days, but of course that depends on if the slower gentle sleep training method was used and the extent of the sleep challenges.
It is also important to remember, habit change takes time and while you may see initial improvements quickly, solidifying healthy sleep habits will take a few weeks. (That said, once you get the fundamentals in place and your baby has fine tuned their sleep skills, it is much easier to get sleep on track next time there is a sleep regression).
Tools like the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers can help you every step of your baby’s sleep journey through all the ups and downs.
What are the Benefits of Sleep Training with a Gentle Sleep Training Method?
Sleep training has incredible immediate and long-term benefits. In the short term, gentle sleep training benefits include:
- Providing your baby with the sleep they need to keep growing
- Helping you sleep more since your baby sleeps better
- Offering ore emotional balance for babies and parents
While in the long term it has been shown to:
- improve babies’ learning and cognitive abilities.
- improve babies’ emotional balance.
- improve overall physical health. For example, studies show that babies that sleep coach are less likely to be obese.
Do I Gentle Sleep Train My Baby at Nap Time?
Yes, naps are an essential part of gentle sleep coaching.
However, during naps, your baby’s sleep drive is lower, so their ability to stay awake and protest sleep is higher. Therefore some experts recommend trying a different sleep training method to give them the space and time to practice falling asleep. Less intervention can mean less stimulation so they are more likely to fall asleep without your support.
That said, you can use your preferred gentler method for naps – just be aware that it may be successful and could result in an overtired baby.
Final Thoughts
The goal with sleep training is to help your baby develop the innate skill of falling asleep independently and falling back to sleep without calling out for you if they wake up during the night. The gentle method works toward this goal but can be slower than other sleep training methods because babies may come to rely on you picking them back up before they can settle.
If you’re looking for answers to any and all of your gentle method sleep training questions, or step-by-step support to put it in practice, download the Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™ app.
Choosing a sleep training method for you and your family can be a confusing process. Having confidence and remaining consistent, and enlisting expert support via apps like Smart Sleep Coach, is key for going through the journey of sleep training and successfully building strong independent sleepers.
